You Get What You Negotiate: How to ask for what you're worth

Negotiations don't have to be intimidating! They're just a conversation.

"The best negotiators are women negotiating on someone else's behalf." Hearing my lecturer share this lesson at the start of our 5-day negotiation course has stuck with me for over five years. It's no surprise that women are amazing negotiators, and it's unfortunately no surprise that we use that skill on behalf of others better than we do for ourselves.

How often have you forced your friend to storm into their boss's office to ask for that raise, shoot her shot with a dream client, or write a letter to get that house she's fallen in love with? Now how often will you do that for yourself? ....Exactly.

For most people, especially women, the word "negotiation" can bring up uncomfortable feelings and fears. What if they so "no"? What if my reputation is ruined? What if I ask for too little, too much? What if I'm not worth it? What can I even ask for?

These feelings are insanely normal. So normal that over 50% of people did not negotiate their most recent salary offer. But with this mindset, you're only leaving potential wins (and money!) on the table.

So what if you started thinking of negotiations as a collaboration instead of a battle? The second best lesson I learned in my negotiation course was to aim for a win-more / win-more outcome where both parties walk away better off than when they came in?

• Starting a new job? Negotiating an education stipend makes it easier for you to take the certification course you've been eyeing, and this investment in your development will make you even more valuable to your team.

  
  

• Moving to a new city? Signing a longer lease at current rental rates gives you financial consistency while your landlord gets a guaranteed multi-year tenant.

  
  

In both cases...everyone wins! And the best news is that Negotiation is a skill you can learn at any age, and there are endless opportunities to practice it.

How to Prepare for a #Negotiation

Do you feel better knowing negotiation is a skill and you will get significantly better over time? Here are some strategies to re-frame your mindset to prepare for and "win more" from your next negotiation.

• Reframe Aggression: Be assertive and advocate for your value. Frame your request as a collaborative discussion about how both parties can benefit. Trust us, you aren't being "too pushy."

  
  

• Channel Confidence: Preparation is power. Do your research and be prepared to ask for exactly what you want. And know the value you will bring to the other party in return.

  
  

• Leverage Relationships: A professional negotiation, approached collaboratively, can actually strengthen relationships by building mutual respect. Focus on finding solutions that work for both parties – a "win-more, win-more" mindset.

  
  

• Know What's Possible: Don't know where to start? Educate yourself on what you can negotiate, and who is the best person to ask for it.

  
  

What Can I #Negotiate Beyond My Salary?

We often associate negotiations with finances, especially salaries. But there are so many things to negotiate your way to a more comfortable, fulfilling work and home life

Always be on the lookout for low stakes negotiation opportunities to get comfortable asking for what you want and finding mutually agreeable outcomes. The confidence and skills you develop in these little victories will prepare you for the big wins.

Here are some examples of negotiations I've had in the past year alone:

• Utility Bills: This is a fantastic, low-pressure way to start. Companies often have flexibility in pricing. Do a quick check online for competitor rates, then call your current provider and politely ask for a better rate. Last month I negotiated my utility bills down by 30% with a simple phone call!

  
  

• Discounts on Faulty Items: Don't just accept things when they're not right. Clearly articulate the issue and ask for a discount, replacement, or resolution.

  
  

• Deadline Extensions: If a deadline feels unrealistic, negotiate for more time, delegation, or support. Frame it around ensuring the project's success, not just your capacity.

  
  

• Professional Development: Research courses or conferences and present a clear case to your manager outlining how the skills you'll gain will benefit your company / team.

  
  

Now it's time to put these skills to the test ....for yourself this time! Negotiation is a skill like any other, so by practicing often and approaching it with confidence, creativity, and preparation you take even more control of your life and career.

Share Your Favorite #Negotiation Wins

What's your most memorable negotiation experience - good or bad? What are your go-to negotiation hacks or priorities? Share your tips, stories, and questions in the comments!

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